Eat the pizza!!

PizzaSo…this weekend didn’t go so well for me and Keto. Specifically Sunday. For the past few weeks my husband and I haven’t really had the chance to really spend much time together. Sundays are normally our day to hang out together whether it be date night or just chilling in bed together all day. Well since we haven’t had a Sunday together in about 4 weeks and we’ve both been spending a lot of time away from home we decided that it would be a lazy Sunday where we didn’t leave bed. A day of nothing is exactly what I needed…..except for I had to prepare all of our meals with nothing in the house. We normally do our grocery shopping on Sunday’s. So I had a VERY tough decision….do I go to the store or do I just hang with my husband all day? It didn’t take me very long to make the decision to stay at home with hubby. Luckily I’m doing the intermittent fasting thing so my first meal wasn’t until 12pm anyway and hubby likes to sleep in until about 11 or 11:30 on the days he doesn’t work. When lunch time rolled around I went in search of something that I could make that was Keto friendly. Luckily I still had a dozen of eggs and some bacon. So for lunch we had scrambled eggs with coconut oil, salt and pepper and bacon.

We were both satisfied for a few hours and then the munchies started to take over. I settled for some almonds and a sugar free jello cup….but an hour later I was hungry again. I had nothing to make for dinner because everything was frozen. Hubby suggested pizza….so I said lets order from Domino’s because they have salads….then we started to order and one thing lead to another.¬† Hubby ordered a Philly cheese steak pizza and the brownie cookie for dessert. I ordered a salad and some wings….completely forgetting that their wings are breaded. Strike 1 for Jen! When the food arrived, the smell of melted cheese, green bell peppers and steak filled the entire room as if it was a sinking ship filling with water. I fought my urge to have a slice and settled for my salad and my wings (which I was already beating myself up over).

Hubby and I decided to watch Son-In-Law with Pauly shore and about 30 minutes in Hubby starts snoring…..the devil on my shoulder seemed to be getting louder and louder. “One piece wont kill you” it kept saying over and over again until I finally caved…….I didn’t eat one but two slices of pizza and then I couldn’t stop. I had two pieces of the brownie cookie too!! I felt so defeated and wanted to sit there and feel terrible about myself but something told me to reach out to a friend who is also doing the Keto diet. She has been my rock through this whole thing and has kept me sane. I told her all about my “cheat day” and what she said to me has given me a whole new outlook on my “accidents”. She said to me: “Its life….get back on track tomorrow. It can’t be all consuming, life has to happen and that includes pizza.” The more and more I thought about it….shes totally right! Being so strict on myself and not enjoying life was just setting me up to fail. I need to enjoy my life and if I want a slice of pizza I should have it because everything is “OK” in moderation. Moral of this story is….DO not beat yourself up for having a slice of pizza, a slice of cake or a scoop of ice cream. We are all human, we are going to make mistakes…..what we do to recover from them is what really counts. Until next time!

xoxo,

Jen

Christmas Cookie Temptations

Gingerbread CookiesSo…..I’m sure that by now you have noticed that Christmas is right around the corner. As if all the lights, Christmas music and Christmas tree vendors didn’t give it away! All joking aside….Holidays are definitely the time to spend some quality time with family. I’m not sure about your family but with my family that involves FOOD and lots of it…specifically COOKIES. I grew up in a household where my mom loved to bake Christmas cookies and over the years watching and helping her, I too fell in love with baking. I will bake from the moment I wake up to the time I go to bed on the weekends. Baking for me started out as something my mom and I could share but it soon turned into a stress reliever for me. There is just something about following a recipe and measuring everything out to the exact measurement that is just so satisfying.

Obviously being around all of that sugar and amazingness can cause temptation to rear its evil head. Dealing with that constant temptation isn’t an easy task. I would love to say that I have the worlds strongest will power but let’s be honest……I’m weak! SOOOOOO WEAK! I refuse to be that person who goes through the holidays depriving myself to the point where I dread the holidays. So yes….I will have a cookie or two but never three……never (insert sarcastic eye roll here). So how do I keep myself from eating the 20 dozen cookies I just baked….I give them away. I will keep a few dozen for me and the hubby to enjoy because you can enjoy all things in moderation which I have had to teach myself. Hubby however…..I can’t control him! He is known as the cookie monster in our home.

I hope that everyone enjoys the holidays and spending some quality time with their families.

XOXO,

Jen

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy thanksgiving to all my readers! Today I am thankful for my friends, family and good health. I wish you and yours a blessed day full of love and laughter with those you hold so dear! 

Ps: Hope you turned your scale back 10 lbs this morning!! ūüėČ

Positive Thinking is a MUST

alittlepositivitylogo_new1First off…I’m sorry its been a while since my last post. Life seems to be getting in the way a little more frequently these days. So an update on whats going on in my life. I finally made the decision it was time to take my infertility a little more serious. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 5 years with no success. If you read my “About Me” section you know¬†the back story but for those of you who haven’t read it,¬† I was diagnosed with¬†Polycystic¬†Ovarian Syndrome a few years ago which is my main reason why I can’t conceive on my own. We started getting treatments in 2010 and into 2011 but we decided to take a break in May of 2011 for a few different reasons. One being our insurance not willing to cover anymore diagnostic testing and treatments because they didn’t feel it was “medically necessary” and secondly from all the hormones, blood draws and weekly sonograms my body finally started to tell me it was time for a break. Mentally I was drained and hubby could see it in my face. With all the clomid rounds and the ovulation testing and well…..the “practicing” we were doing and every month the pregnancy test would be negative was so hard on me emotionally. I finally said….I NEED A BREAK.

¬†A year went by and I thought I was ready to¬†start the process over again but then my insecurities and self-doubt¬†really go the best of me. I kept thinking to myself, what if we go through this process and nothing works? What if I’m not able to give my husband the children that I know he longs for? What if I go back to the doctor to find out that I’ve done more harm to my body by “putting this off”? Should I¬†have just¬†sucked it up and went back sooner? What if one of the treatments finally¬†work but I have a miscarriage? What if the doctor tells me that there is no hope? All of these thoughts kept racing through my head pretty much every second of everyday. So much that 2 years went by and finally hubby asked me….are you ready yet? I could see in his eyes that he really wanted to have children…he was ready to be a father and it wasn’t fair to him for me to be selfish any longer. I needed to go back and find out what the next step was. I really loved my doctor but when I called to schedule my appointment, I was notified he was leaving the practice. Now what was I going to do. So we decided why not go to the specialists at Shady Grove Fertility. It took me about 3 weeks to build up enough courage to schedule the appointment but I did it! One step down…..my appointment was scheduled for June 29th which was about a month away (at the time of course). It seemed like those 4 weeks flew by…and the appointment was all I could think about. I was both excited and nervous all at the same time.¬† Then the morning of my appointment finally arrived and I woke up in tears. I had never been so scared of going to the doctor in my entire life…..I felt like I was going to visit the doctor and he was going to either tell me my life wasn’t supposed to be spent being a mother or that he could help me. I was sitting on the bed and I broke down in tears….I looked at hubby and said….”I can’t do this. I can’t go to this doctor just for him to tell me that¬†I will never be pregnant.” He looked at me and said the most loving thing ….”Honey, if you are not ready for this next step I will not push you to do it. Just know that I will always be your rock and if god wants us to have a child he will give both you and I the strength to get through this. We will get our family someday but if the journey doesn’t start today, I’m ok with that.” I fell in love with him all over again. I knew in the back of my mind he yearned for a child just as much as I did and I knew that if I didn’t push myself to take this step I would push it off for another year. I cried almost the entire way to the doctor’s office¬†with hubby holding my hand the whole way there. I finally took a deep breath, opened the car door and made my way into the doctor’s office. Sitting in that waiting room was tough…and seemed like an eternity. Finally the doctor called our names and we walked back to his office and had a seat. I was finally calm…..until he sat down and asked me “What brings you in today?” I lost it! I broke down and cried so hard that I almost start hyperventilating. He¬†looked at me and said, “You have already completed the hard part….you called and made the appointment. It’s all¬†easy stuff now!” So after a few minutes and tissues later, I laid out my entire medical history for him which went a little like this…I have PCOS¬†and I want a baby! He then went on to tell me about PCOS¬†which I knew a little bit about already from my research. He went on to tell me exactly the course of¬†treatment he wanted to take with me in detail which is amazing. To have a doctor really sit down with you and talk you through all of the stages and the course of treatment that they want to take with you is just amazing. He answered all of our questions and really put me at ease. Of course he would like me to continue to lose some more weight and congratulated me on my success so far! (oh and I’m¬†7 lbs from my goal and my birthday is next week…think I can do it??) The one thing that really put my mind at ease and really turned my head and heart around from the negative thoughts I was having was when he told me this…..”I’m not normally the type of person that will bet on anything….but I’ll beat we can get you pregnant before you know it!” Hearing those words and to see how confident he felt was like music to my ears. Once I left his office, I felt like 100 lbs was lifted from my shoulders. I could finally breath again and look forward to something.

Both hubby and I were sent to our primary care physician to get some blood work done which was about a week ago. Once our test resulted are in and our Shady Grove team review everything, we will finally be on our way to starting our family. I have nothing but positive thoughts about this whole process because negativity is not an option at this point. I have a new goal for myself this year and that is to finally be able to say….I’m pregnant!

xoxo,

Jen